A Bunch of Sentences

Well it's almost that time of year again... Christmas Time. It's alittle hard. I pulled out all the christmas cards I've been saving over the last years. There were ALOT of them. I threw out the ones that don't mean anything too me and kept the ones from my mom. It kinda makes me said that I'll never be called sister, sister susie or any of the other nicknames she called me. My dad has nicknames of his own for each kid. I read over the cards and started to cry :0(

Anyways, this year I'm not all that interested in getting a professional family picture taken. We've done one every year since Faith was born. But let's face it, it's a waste of money. I don't see any of Dustin's family putting those pictures up. Even the kids school pictures. I refused to pay all that money, so we only got the basic packages. I have friends who appreciate the pictures more then the family does. So we are just going to take a picture ourselves and mail it out to people.

I finally get to have my family around for christmas this year. You have no idea how much that means to me. It's been 10 years since I got to share christmas with someone (other then my kids) who actually make me feel welcome and wanted.

I don't know how well christmas is going to go this year. I'm angry over somethings that happened this summer/fall and don't know if I can or even want to keep it to myself anymore. The kids and I were in the car accident and my friends were there for me more then "family" was. I got a hug weeks later and a "we were so worried about you" which basically meant nothing to me. Even Dustin didn't drop everything and come running, cause of course I wouldn't need moral support that would be too obvious. My mom passed away and all I got is a card "sorry for your loss" Everytime there was a loss in their family I was there to support them. I know I shouldn't expect anything from them, based on past experience, but come on alittle compassion would have been something more then what I got. I know you might think I'm being selfish, but that's how I feel. My dad who hasn't been married to my mom for more then 17 years and his girlfriend dropped everything and drove 12 hours to be with us. That's kinda what most people expect from "family".

Anyways I am looking forward to christmas with a break from our daily routines. I'm hoping there will be alittle bit more snow, so the kids have something to play in and do over the holidays.